Tiffany and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on February 15, 2018


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Dear Tiff and Earl,

Why do professors make us print so much? I shouldn’t be out of PC Prints before midterms!


Low on Ink (and Patience)


Dear Low on Ink,

Here’s a tip: just don’t print any of it. Then, when asked why you didn’t do the reading, say you have the flu. I know that’s lying and lying is bad, but enough people have been sick lately that no one is going to notice if you are telling the truth or not! You have at least two weeks to use this excuse so take advantage of it! I know that’s what I would do.

Also, for the record, I actually do a lot of my printing for class (surprising, I know) and I never actually run out of printing money. You’re fine. Stop being so dramatic.

All the best,



Dear You Guys Made Me Ink,

I haven’t printed for years. I switched to cursive years ago and haven’t looked back. It doesn’t seem to matter much that I can’t read my own notes, but I guess that’s why I’m still here at PC! To prove a point, I suggest using large feather quills to take scripty longhand notes in your classes. I will endorse ostrich or peacock, depending on your aesthetic.

Also, I don’t know who this “PC Prints” is or why you’re out of him, but I can only imagine it’s yet another scam by our autocratic oppressors. They’ll take any chance they can get to milk another dollar out of the deep pockets of our Patagonia fleece jackets.