Dear Tiff and Earl,
The person I was going to ask to Black and White Ball is already going with someone else and all of my friends have dates. What should I do?
Peaked in Middle School
First of all, been there, done that! So, after years of going to the dances alone, I decided that I would create my own dating service for lonely suckers like yourself! Rent-A-Date is a not-for-profit dating service that delivers to you a random date based on the event you are going to, your preferences, and how much money you put down as a down payment! So, call 1-800-I’m-So-Very-Lonely to rent a date! PC cash only.
Looking forward to your call!
Save your money and your dignity.