Day of the Darty

by Elizabeth McGinn on March 25, 2021


coach Cooley and dot
Graphic design by Sarah Kirchner ’21

by Dot’s #1 Fan ’21

The day is September 26, 2020. Weather outside feels like day drinking. The student population has engaged in a darty dedicated to Vineyard Vines and White Claws on Weaton Street. Everything appears normal, until one student hears another cough. The events to follow were recorded by one of the few students who made it out alive.



The cough was heard nearly an hour ago. Everyone has fled the scene of the infection. The cops arrived, but they were no match to the student; they were forced to flee as well. I am currently with my suitemates. We plan to head back to campus where everything appears to still be normal. Hopefully news of the cough has not traveled… 



Everything is quiet. We tried to go to Ray, but they won’t let us in. It appears the news has spread fast. We are thrown some leftover chicken nuggets and told to go back to our room. Some students have begun camping outside of Ray hoping it’ll open again. The darty has left them hungry for mediocre food. My roommate pulls out a granola bar that has been in his pocket since his 8:30 on Thursday. The students perk up at the sound of a wrapper. To avoid trouble, I chuck the half-eaten bar across the sidewalk. My roommates and I race back to our suite. 



The gates to the campus have closed. Rumor has it, the kid who coughed is on campus somewhere. We are not allowed to leave Suites until the student is found and reported to the health center. The school is offering a reward of $1,000 PC Cash for whoever turns him in. 



The drinking has continued. To suppress our fears of lockdown, we share liquor and beer with our neighbors down the hall. My roommate suggests we play a round of Wii Bowling to pass the time. From the hallway we hear, “THERE HE IS!” Everyone runs to look. 



It is him. He’s surrounded on the stairwell. He threatens to cough on anyone who approaches… No one moves. In the distance, sirens roar. 

“Who called them on me?” We all stay silent. Next to me, I see my roommate has 911 pulled up on his phone. He has saved us.



We are in a standoff. Security is not allowed in or else the kid will infect us all. We have been standing for nearly an hour. No one knows that it was my roommate who called. If the kid knew, we’d all be done for. We try to convince him that it is better for us all if he goes with security. He says he refuses to go to the Marriott. It is either the Omni or nothing. 



Security has called the Omni and secured him a room. He is not satisfied. He demands a week-supply of General Tso’s as well, and for Dot to personally deliver it.

“Leave Dot out of this!” The girl from 504 cries. Everyone is crying at the mention of Dot. She doesn’t deserve to be brought into this. The kid won’t stop demanding until the person who called security speaks up. 

I turn to my roommate. “I love you,” I whisper before I raise my hand. “It was me!”

The kid looks at me, eyes filled with rage. Before anyone can move, he pulls down his mask and coughs. Everything goes black. 



I awake in my bed. My roommate is holding my hand. 

“What happened?” 

“You saved us.”

“And Dot?”

“Is completely fine.” 

It is the best news I’ve heard all day. I cry tears of joy. I have saved Dot. 

“All of Suites has to quarantine, but at least we’re together.” I let out another sob. He is right. At least we’re together. 

“Guys! Come look at this.” We run to the hallway to see what everyone has gathered to see. On the lawn, we see Dot and Coach Cooley. They hold a sign that reads, “Our Hero.” Around me, my friends raise a White Claw in my honor. The day has been long, but I know it is now over. Soon, I will get to hug Dot again, and everything will be okay.