We humans are nothing more than little fleas that give Earth an annoying scratch. People have the habit of believing the world revolves around them. Their dramatics are born in their little suburban homes or in their crappy Subaru cars. Most of the time, the emotional disasters that feel like the sky is falling are […]
Worst Places To Show Your Parents On Parents Weekend Ray Guz Eaton Street Communal bathrooms Chad Brown Street Where I failed my civ final Radcliffe Avenue Foxy Lady The middle of the flame where the pee sits Suites Any freshman male’s dorm
Dear Tiff and Earl, I just got my first Civ paper prompt, and to say I’m freaking out is an understatement. I haven’t done any of the readings for this class yet and I only have a couple of days until the paper is due. Any advice? Sincerely, Major Procrastinator Hey Major Procrastinator, Like you, […]
Most people would say that there isn’t anything funny about death or losing a loved one however, when my grandfather passed I ended up inheriting what turned out to be something quite funny. My grandfather used to drive a red 2008 Cadillac, it has four seats and it belongs down in Miami with an eighty-year-old […]
At home you and I make the coffee without caffeine, For the heart murmurers who gather in another room, While jostling predispositions in hallways wait their turns to be heard. We save the coffee grounds and the broken eggshells For the soil of the vines and bleeding-hearts and thyme That make clear our hearts and […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, The first (official) darty of the semester is coming up, and my roommate and I still haven’t managed to find a solid friend group to accompany us. Any advice for quickly making friends so that we can live out our darty dreams? Sincerely, Future Darty Crasher Dear FDC, If you really […]
You were so special. Like a beam of something good sitting next to me in every classroom, every space, every inch of the world as if we owned the air that we breathed in. You were so good to me. With words that wrapped me up warmly, just like a hug. With belly laughter that […]
Worst Things To Hear During Syllabus Week “We’ll start class today with a quiz/pop quiz” “I don’t like to give out As” “Okay class, let’s take out the reading!” “No unexcused absences” “We won’t have breaks during class” (it’s a marathon class) “The final for this class will count for over half of your grade” […]
I worship you on a golden altar of daylight, knees sinking into sand where I sit in supplication, flaunting you unabashedly with my flushed cheeks and freckled chest, wearing you like a cross. You spoil me seductively, appeasing my appetites with your alms of apricots and aperol, arousing my desire with the amorous caress of […]
An obnoxious yellow tag stands out on my black bathing suit, The neon color disgusting me when I discover it; My nails dig into the dirty label, Trying but failing to rip it off, As it stubbornly sticks to the dark suit. Finally, I shed this label, Yet I still feel the judging stares of […]