“Sakai Ashton-Langford” “The only reason I’m enjoying this game is because of my drink.” “When are we going to score? My legs are hurting.” “Watson really filled into his body.” “We scored a goal.” “Coach Cooley is a well-dressed man.” “The Shoe Shuffle is rigged.” “Get that man a steak.” “How many periods are left?” […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, The person I was going to ask to Black and White Ball is already going with someone else and all of my friends have dates. What should I do? Sincerely, Peaked in Middle School Dear Peaked, First of all, been there, done that! So, after years of going to the […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I am alone on Valentine’s Day as per usual. What should I do to treat myself on this very special holiday? Woefully, Lonely Luke Dearest Lonely Luke, I remember my first lonely Valentine’s Day like it was yesterday. I was 15 years old and my boyfriend of 12 years had […]
I Googled how to slow dance You smell different when you’re awake You remind me of (insert family member here) We would make cute kids together You look better than usual I love you (#thankunext) I get sweaty when I look at you Have you put on weight? I liked your pictures online better My […]
What Does ___________ Mean?: The Roving Love Dictionary What does Love mean to you? Love is seeing past the cracks, the missing acts, and the backbreaking tax of loving someone else. You don’t fall in love, you choose to love. by Connor Zimmerman ’20 What does Eye Candy mean to you? Eye candy is […]
Ray The fact that I have to figure out what PC Cash is My diminishing PC Prints balance Broken elevators The laundry room being on the ground floor Shoeboxes (aka Aquinas doubles) Lack of insulation in windows Communal bathrooms Physics Professors canceling class but not telling anyone Professors not canceling classes The lack of a […]
Dear Tiff and Earl Do you believe in climate change? I keep trying to convince my friends that it is real, but they won’t listen. How else can it go from freezing in a Polar Vortex to feeling like I should be on a beach somewhere? What should I do to convince those around me […]
TWO WRITERS, ONE LINE: “I swore to myself that this would be the last time… The Last One By Erin Lucey ’20 Dan I swore to myself that this would be the last time. But as I sift through the pile of potential suspects, I can’t help but torture myself with the thought that I must […]
An extra TV if you smash yours First aid kit Lucky underwear A pound of buffalo wings to stress eat Extra pants in case of an emergency Liquids to hydrate Water bottles to pee in during overtime My autograph from Tom Brady (#humblebrag) Fire extinguisher Face paint Extra couches A shoulder to cry on if […]