January 22, 2020

Posts from "Features"

  • Features | Apr.04, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl My week was uneventful, how was yours? Curiously, George   Dear George, My week was the same as most weeks. Monday, I caught and cooked up a king crab. Tuesday, I fought a super villain and…

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  • Features | Apr.04, 2019

    Listomania: Things Friars Keep In Their Robe Pockets

    Travel-sized Bibles Incense Handwarmers More pockets Rosary beads Map of campus Tide-to-Go stick Copy of The Cowl Backup robe Cigars A collection of ABBA CDs The mystery of the Trinity Unconsecrated wafers (#afternoon snack) Personal autograph by Coach Cooley Martin…

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  • Features | Mar.21, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I have just come back from spring break, and I was visiting my friend in France. I am still jet-lagged, tired, and in serious post-break withdrawal. How do I adjust to being back at school? Sincerely,…

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  • Features | Mar.21, 2019

    Listomania: Ways to Get Accepted into College

    Cure cancer Join a fake crew team Sell your soul Have your parents get a second job at the college Create your own college Live in a tent on campus and go to classes until they give you a degree…

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  • Features | Mar.07, 2019

    Listomania: Stress Triggers

    The PC Men’s Basketball Team Seeing professors in the gym To snow day or not to snow day? The Starbucks line five minutes before class Taking someone else’s laundry out of the machine 11:55 p.m. instead of 11:59 p.m. deadlines…

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  • Features | Mar.07, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl With spring break fast approaching, I just learned all my friends are going on a Euro trip next week. The trip is sold out, and I don’t want to be at home all break. What should…

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  • Features | Mar.03, 2019

    Listomania: What We Hear at PC Men’s Basketball Games

    “Sakai Ashton-Langford” “The only reason I’m enjoying this game is because of my drink.” “When are we going to score? My legs are hurting.” “Watson really filled into his body.” “We scored a goal.” “Coach Cooley is a well-dressed man.”…

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  • Features | Mar.03, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, The person I was going to ask to Black and White Ball is already going with someone else and all of my friends have dates. What should I do? Sincerely, Peaked in Middle School   Dear…

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  • Features | Feb.14, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I am alone on Valentine’s Day as per usual. What should I do to treat myself on this very special holiday? Woefully, Lonely Luke   Dearest Lonely Luke, I remember my first lonely Valentine’s Day like…

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  • Features | Feb.14, 2019

    Listomania: Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Crush

    I Googled how to slow dance You smell different when you’re awake You remind me of (insert family member here) We would make cute kids together You look better than usual I love you (#thankunext) I get sweaty when I…

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