by Connor Zimmerman on February 7, 2020
Features
Sleep in the library
Spray Lysol in their face as they sleep
Wear a hazmat suit
Gently cover them with a tarp
Replace their shampoo with Purell
Quarantine them in the tunnels
Eat one whole orange
Scratch that—eat nothing but oranges
Snort Emergen-C
Create the super soldier serum (Captain America never got the flu)
Change the locks to the room so they are locked out
Hack into CyberFriar and change their GPA to 0.00 so they get kicked out of PC
Start a public health campaign where everyone tapes their mouths shut so that no one can spread germs ever again
Get them audited by the IRS so they are sent to federal prison
Accept your fate