Tiff and Earl

by Sarah McLaughlin '23
Editor-in-Chief


Features


Dear Tiff and Earl,

It’s me again. My COVID-19 lover and I don’t know what to wear for Halloween—we want a good couple’s costume idea. Thoughts?

Sincerely,

Caught Feelings (and COVID)


Dear Heartswab,

Darling, I am positively bursting with couples costume ideas.  

Two halves of a Kit Kat. Dean Sears and his lollipop. Beef and broccoli. Two thumbs (you’ll have to pick up or down). A caveman and a cavewoman. Raisins and peanuts (a classic combination). A pair of pants. Henry VIII and one of his decapitated wives. Edgar Bergen and his ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy. Those goops from Titanic, but in the scene right before the guy dies, when she’s all cozy on her door and he’s just hanging on. Oh man—like Celine Dion’s heart, I could go on. But oy vey, I am lonely. 

Cheers!

Tiff

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Dear Caught Feelings (and COVID),

For your and your lover’s safety, as well as that of anyone with whom you may come into contact, costumes that cover your nose and mouth are a must. You could easily go with a tired, cliche costume, such as ninjas or bandana-wearing cowboys. However, if you want a costume that is both COVID-lover-safe and will certainly not be copied by other couples, I would suggest going as this advice columnist’s favorite celebrity, Taylor Swift, when she was transported out of her apartment in a large suitcase. Not only was this a watershed moment in popular culture, but it’ll also keep you and your COVID-lover from infecting anyone—plus, nothing says romance like contorting your body to fit in a tight space.

It’s a Love Story, baby, just say yes,

Earl

image of earl