Listomania: Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert

by The Cowl Editor


Features


Image says "listomania"

Artists We Should’ve Had For Spring Concert

  • Pitbull 
  • The Rock 
  • Will Smith (ft. Chris Rock) 
  • Machine Gun Kelly 
  • Frank Sinatra (hologram version)
  • Macklemore 
  • Doja Cat 
  • Kanye West (featuring Skeet)
  • Travis Scott 
  • Dr. Taylor Swift 
  • Shawn Mendes (post breakup tour?)
  • Rihanna (post hiatus tour?) 
  • Ed Sheeran 
  • My Chemical Romance 
  • Big Time Rush (without Dixie D’Amelio) (sans Carlos)
  • R. Kelly (from prison)
  • The Hillbilly Thomists

Listomania: Petition for a New Mascot

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


The koi fish

The Flame

Paul Rudd 

Dean Sears

A White Claw

A pong ball

A positive COVID-19 test

An image of Dean Sears’s email

The green check mark

A white square

Jesus

Adidas slides

Lululemon leggings

A missing AirPods case

A singular AirPod

A missing PC ID

Dot and Fran, but as one person

Listomania: Best Places to Use Our Free Foldable Friars’ Chairs

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


By the trash behind Ray

In the koi pond

Lane 4 on the track

The Friar Development Center (until you get caught)

In Ed Cooley’s office

In line for Dunkin’

Deep in your closet

On the roof of Ray

In Father Sicard’s backyard

Sunbathing outside the Marriott 

In the flame

In the Suites’ elevator 

In line for your COVID-19 test

Outside Mondoz (waiting patiently for it to reopen)

The Eaton St. bike lane…oh wait 

Anywhere other than outdoor classes

Listomania: Best Ways to Raise Your Midterm Grades

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


Turn your grade upside down

Convert it to the metric system

Give your professor a little gift *wink wink*

Cram on your Wellness Wednesday

Give an expository interview to Oprah about your teacher

Round it up to an A

Send your professor a death threat

Have Daddy pay your professor off

Perform a ritual to the flame

Ask Paul Rudd for help

Sign up for a late night tutoring session

Send tasteful nood(le)s

Just don’t, drop out of school and start an OnlyFans page instead

Listomania: Signs that it’s Spring at PC

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


The return of the wannabe lax bros 

Playing spike ball on the quad (or any lawn game of your choice) 

The friars are showing their ankles

Soccer and lax games every weekend 

Everybody bringing back the folding chairs from September

Country music on the AQ lawn

Darties

The smell of trees and grass combatting the stench from Ray

Midterm madness

Dogs!

More fake spray tans

New Dunkin’ flavors (Irish Creme!)

Max levels of senioritis

Daffodils

Transitioning from hot to iced coffee…never mind, we drank that through the winter anyway

Listomania: Places to Eat at PC When the Dining Hall is Closed

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


Koi pond (with some sushi)

The one chair outside of your professor’s office

Your car 

Outside of Ray with the sweet aroma of garbage 

Cowl office (if you’re lucky)

Friar Development Center

Testing center (before taking a swab)

The tunnels 

The priory 

The center of the torch 

Around the fire pits (during snowfall)

Coach Cooley’s office 

Your dorm’s laundry room 

The labyrinth at Hunt-Cav

Your roommate’s bed 

The dirt

Listomania: Reasons You Will Not Have a Second Date

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


Forgot to wipe

Didn’t show up

Brought your mom as a chaperone

Talked about your 12 cats

Mentioned the spider that whispers sweet nothings into your ear

Confessed your love for Father Shanley

Knew too much personal information

Asked for their banner ID instead of their phone number

Communicated solely via PC Mobile

Thought they resembled Mitch McConnell

Said they smell like your mom

Brought your date home to your Lightning McQueen race car bed

Ordered off the kid’s menu

Dined and dashed

Ordered chocolate milk at the bar

Brought your guitar (and already wrote a song about them)

Said “I love you”

Asked them to be your entree à la Armie Hammer

Listomania: Reasons to drop a class during add/drop period

by Elizabeth McGinn


Features


My ex is in it

It’s hard

My professor gives A’s starting at 94 instead of 93

It has pop quizzes

The textbook is too heavy for me to carry

It’s a non lab-based class with a lab

Someone has already tried to ask me out

It meets in-person

My professor is too hot to handle

It’s at 8:30 a.m.

I’m the only one who signed up

I used up all my excused absences already

My professor doesn’t socially distance

The person I sit next to thinks their mask is a chinstrap

Someone took my unassigned assigned seat

Listomania: Things I Wish I Didn’t Do Halloween Weekend

by The Cowl Editor


Features


Die

Start a COVID-19 outbreak

Go to an Eaton Street party

Sleepover at Guz

Dress up as Friar Dom instead of Huxley

Overdose on candy corn 

Hookup with my ex twice (they were in different costumes)

The Monster Mash

Dress up like a doctor

Get a pumpkin stuck on my head 

Go to a school-hosted event (stuck in the Escape Room)

Wear the wrong costume in a matching set

Hang out with the demons my neighbors were conjuring

Listomania: 2020 Halloween Costumes

by The Cowl Editor


Features


Carole Baskin

Guillotine-decapitated Marie Antoinette

The fly on Mike Pence’s head

Father Shanley

Among Us characters

My midterm grades

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

COVID-19 vaccine

Murder hornet

Whipped coffee

Sourdough bread

Sexy postal worker (#buysomestamps)

A ballot

Andrew Cuomo

Fran and Dot

Anything respectful of other cultures