Tiff and Earl

by The Cowl Editor on October 28, 2021


Dear Tiff and Earl,

It’s me again. My COVID-19 lover and I don’t know what to wear for Halloween—we want a good couple’s costume idea. Thoughts?


Caught Feelings (and COVID)

Dear Heartswab,

Darling, I am positively bursting with couples costume ideas.  

Two halves of a Kit Kat. Dean Sears and his lollipop. Beef and broccoli. Two thumbs (you’ll have to pick up or down). A caveman and a cavewoman. Raisins and peanuts (a classic combination). A pair of pants. Henry VIII and one of his decapitated wives. Edgar Bergen and his ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy. Those goops from Titanic, but in the scene right before the guy dies, when she’s all cozy on her door and he’s just hanging on. Oh man—like Celine Dion’s heart, I could go on. But oy vey, I am lonely. 



image of tiff

Dear Caught Feelings (and COVID),

For your and your lover’s safety, as well as that of anyone with whom you may come into contact, costumes that cover your nose and mouth are a must. You could easily go with a tired, cliche costume, such as ninjas or bandana-wearing cowboys. However, if you want a costume that is both COVID-lover-safe and will certainly not be copied by other couples, I would suggest going as this advice columnist’s favorite celebrity, Taylor Swift, when she was transported out of her apartment in a large suitcase. Not only was this a watershed moment in popular culture, but it’ll also keep you and your COVID-lover from infecting anyone—plus, nothing says romance like contorting your body to fit in a tight space.

It’s a Love Story, baby, just say yes,


image of earl


Two Sentence Horror Stories

by The Cowl Editor on October 28, 2021


man in front of a creepy shadow
Photo courtesy of pixabay.com


I dipped my spoon into the Jell-O in front of me and lifted it to my mouth. I had never seen white Jell-O with little red spider veins before, and it was unexpectedly chewy.

Kate Ward ’23

Laughter can be such a pleasant noise. That is, unless you live alone and hear it all night long.

Taylor Maguire ’24

I kiss his cheek, comb the falling hair out of his eyes, and fix his crooked tie. If only he had let me fix him up this nice when he was alive.

Mariela Flores ’23

I caught up on emails this beautiful morning. Midterm grades were released.

Anna Pomeroy ’23

The boy walked aimlessly around the dimly lit house, looking for his mother. When he arrived at her bathroom, he noticed her there, on the floor, and the trail of blood leading to the dagger he gripped within his grasp.

Max Gilman ’25

I woke up in a room surrounded by guys in pink masks. They told me we’d be playing our favorite childhood games…

Taylor Rogers ’24

The Devil gave me a choice to walk through Hell or walk through Pinehurst Ave at night. I chose Hell.

Aidan Lerner ’22

Knowing that loose lips sink ships, the captain had gone to desperate lengths to protect his craft. But as they entered international waters, he began to hear from all sides that ominous smack smack smacking.

Fiona Clarke ’23

I’m staring in the mirror. But I don’t know who that is grinning back at me.

Toni Rendon ’24

One night I asked my dad to check under my bed for the boogeyman when he was tucking me in. His smile faded as he said, “Why would I do that when you’re looking right at him?”

AJ Worsley ’22

I woke up to the blissful sound of birds chirping and the sun streaming through my window at a noontime height. I love Saturdays, I thought, as I opened my phone to see the eight a.m. alarm that had been neglected.

Sarah McLaughlin ’23



by The Cowl Editor on October 28, 2021


Image says "listomania"

Worst Candy to Get in Your Trick-or-Treat Basket

  • Milk Duds
  • Candy corn with the chocolate on the bottom
  • Granola bars
  • Apples
  • Green Kit Kats
  • Black licorice 
  • Toothpaste 
  • 100 Grand bars 
  • Laffy Taffy 
  • Dots 
  • Anything grape flavored (tastes like cough medicine) 
  • Bit-O-Honey 
  • Circus peanuts 
  • PayDays 
  • Lemonheads 
  • Hard grandma candies
  • Scorpion candy 
  • Tootsie Rolls (especially the fruit-flavored ones)
  • Pretzels
  • Really small gum
  • Spicy candy
  • Raisins
  • Good & Plenty
  • Mini soda bottles
  • Clementines
  • Werther’s caramels
  • Gumballs that look like eyes
  • Only one tiny piece



by The Cowl Editor on October 21, 2021


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Ways to de-stress during Midterms

  • Count your ceiling tiles
  • Count the squares in the wall
  • Talk to your cinderblocks
  • Take a walk down Chad Brown
  • Smell markers
  • Go Halloween decoration shopping and get scared by some of the ones in Target that jump out at you
  • Start manifesting
  • Start knitting
  • Sleep on top of your textbooks to absorb info via mitosis (wait…it’s osmosis)
  • Read The Cowl
  • Go on Yik Yak
  • Re-read Dean Sears’ emails


by The Cowl Editor on October 7, 2021



Image says "listomania"

Who Should Perform At Late Night Madness?

  • Strictly Speaking
  • Special Guest
  • Anaclastic
  • Friar Dom and Huxley as a duet
  • The Yodeling Kid (Mason Ramsey)
  • The Wiggles
  • Dixie D’Amelio
  • Trisha Paytas
  • Lil Nas X’s baby
  • The PC Pep Band
  • Father Shanley
  • Alabama sorority girls
  • Fifth graders doing the Whip and Nae-Nae
  • The Hype House