by The Cowl Editor on September 17, 2020
Features
Dear Tiff and Earl,
I passed gas on my Zoom call and my video went on speaker view. How do I recover?
Sincerely,
Mortified Morty
Dear Mortified Morty,
There’s no way to reverse engineer the damage that has been done. The only good thing is that if this were an in-person class, you definitely would have turned up some noses or killed the grass around you. But anyway, my best suggestions for the future are to keep a whoopee cushion nearby (for comedic relief), lay off the beans, and KEEP YOUR MIC ON MUTE IF YOU FEEL YOUR TUMMY A-RUMBLING. I must say, this seems like an easily preventable issue, but I suppose we all need a little extra help these days.
Fragrantly,
Tiff
Dear Morty,
Drop the class. Now, this may seem like an overreaction, but remember, you have a personal brand to maintain. No teacher has ever written a grad student recommendation for the student who excelled at passing the most gas. Perhaps try to pick up a woodworking class instead. The noise will cover up any further mishaps.
Sneakily,
Earl