Category: Features

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, The spider hanging over my bed is whispering sweet nothings into my ear. How do I proceed? Cautiously, Slightly Interested   Dear Slightly Interested,  It’s 2019, so no judgment here. The one thing I would say is make sure she doesn’t have kids because that could be a pain. She’d be […]

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Listomania:Classes We Wish Were Offered

eSports  Basket Weaving How to Tap a Keg Sodexo Cooking How to Get into Credit Card Debt Avocado Toast Colloquium History of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Metaphysics of Living in an Aquinas Double Ray Burnt Toast Prevention Ethics of Cult Leadership Honors Procrastination Difference Between PC Cash and Friarbucks Spongebob and the Seven Deadly Sins […]

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Friartire: President Pooh

by Pooh Bear Fanatic ’21 Xi Jinping, president of the People’s Republic of China, made headlines last week when reports of his lawsuit against Walt Disney Productions resurfaced for their use of his likeness in their depiction of Winnie the Pooh. The suit, filed in 2014, claimed that President Jinping’s, 66, likeness had been used […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m allergic to pumpkin spice. How do I assimilate into society? Blandly, Not-Spice Girl Dear Blandly,  That’s really tough, especially this time of year. But a pumpkin is just a gourd, so you can make a new flavor by experimenting with other plants to make a new scent. I would stay […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, I have no idea what a cowl is. Can you please tell me? Confused, A Boogie Wit a Cowl   Dear Boogie Wit,  A cowl is the newspaper you are currently holding to read this. I mean, it says “Cowl” in big letters on the front, so it is kind of […]

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Listomania: New Milkshake Flavors for McPhails

The blood of my enemies Ice Only toppings Sour Patch Kids White Claw Apple cider Pumpkin spice Mystery ;) Ray leftovers Jungle juice Mint Juul pods McPhail’s popcorn Chicken nugget (broccoli topping option) Four Loko Tide Pod Insomnia Cookie A full night’s sleep Chipotle Yuck Truck Liquid cheese

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Friartire: The Beast is Stirring

By Lil Wit ’21 It’s getting to that time of the year. The leaves are slowly falling, just like students’ spirits because midterms are on the horizon.    Studies show that students dread midterm week for several reasons. For one, midterm week never lasts a single week. It’s drawn out like those civ papers that […]

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Two Writers, One Line: “I walked into the house and that’s when I saw it”

  Two Writers, One Line: “I walked into the house and that’s when I saw it.”   Electrifying But Calm by Grace O’Connor ’22 I walked into the house and that’s when I saw it Her long, red dress sunk down to the floor The shiny, chocolate brown hair of hers poured down her back Her […]

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Portfolio Alumni Submissions: What does PC mean to You?

this place, it felt by Ariana Pasquantonio ’16 Alumna Portfolio Staff like dripping in sun on the lawn, warm bricks, like a top-bunk firework fever dream splitting through closed eyelids, just light and shadows, neat lines on canvas.   We Brave Life’s Hour by Branan Durbin ’16 Alumna Portfolio Editor The thing about Motherhood, even […]

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Friartire: DormWars AQuties vs Suities

by Sally Satirist ’20 As the warm darty season passes into a chilly autumn, residence halls prepare for another annual showdown. While Eaton St. remains a monument to late night life, dorms have been recently rising in Friday and Saturday night notoriety.  Suites Hall, the suite-style upperclassmen dorm, is the traditional spot for on-campus shenanigans. […]

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