Category: Features

Listomania: Rejected Listomania Topics

How to solve the PC housing crisis (we couldn’t) Things people get unnecessarily offended by What to name the New Science Building Weird flexes Why Fr. Shanley really went on sabbatical Things you find in Suites Hall over the weekend How Friars Club selects its members Statistics for students entering into jobs upon graduation How […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, My parents just called me and said that they cannot help me move out after my last final exam because they are taking a trip down to Florida to “get a summer tan.” How do I get all my stuff out of my room and go home? Trying to get home, […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Backup Commencement Speakers

Coach Cooley DJ Diesel (#neverforget) John Mulaney Father Shanley (while we still have him) Putin and Trump Wayne G. Resmini (“In Pain? Call Wayne”) Governor Raimondo Dot Lori Loughlin (get that degree even if it’s honorary) Paul Rudd Camille Kostek (actually, we would prefer Gronk) Kris Dunn A DWC professor to remind us why DWC […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m having a lot of trouble trying to slog through the last few weeks of the semester and Easter just can’t come soon enough. Do either of you have any advice on how to get through these last weeks? Sincerely, Senioritis   Hi Older and Lazier, I remember when it was […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl My week was uneventful, how was yours? Curiously, George   Dear George, My week was the same as most weeks. Monday, I caught and cooked up a king crab. Tuesday, I fought a super villain and saved Metropolis. Wednesday, I was shot out of a cannon. Thursday, I cooked scones. And […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Things Friars Keep In Their Robe Pockets

Travel-sized Bibles Incense Handwarmers More pockets Rosary beads Map of campus Tide-to-Go stick Copy of The Cowl Backup robe Cigars A collection of ABBA CDs The mystery of the Trinity Unconsecrated wafers (#afternoon snack) Personal autograph by Coach Cooley Martin Luther’s 95 Theses Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Theologica

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, I have just come back from spring break, and I was visiting my friend in France. I am still jet-lagged, tired, and in serious post-break withdrawal. How do I adjust to being back at school? Sincerely, Mr. Cosmopolitan   Dear Favorite Drink, I love France so much! I look at pictures […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Ways to Get Accepted into College

Cure cancer Join a fake crew team Sell your soul Have your parents get a second job at the college Create your own college Live in a tent on campus and go to classes until they give you a degree Know a guy Become a prodigy Ask Lori Loughlin for advice Lower your expectations Get […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Stress Triggers

The PC Men’s Basketball Team Seeing professors in the gym To snow day or not to snow day? The Starbucks line five minutes before class Taking someone else’s laundry out of the machine 11:55 p.m. instead of 11:59 p.m. deadlines The Dunkin’ line on the weekends Walking from Smith to Ruane in between classes Getting […]

The Cowl Editor

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl With spring break fast approaching, I just learned all my friends are going on a Euro trip next week. The trip is sold out, and I don’t want to be at home all break. What should I do? Yours truly, Fyre Festival   Dearest Fyre Festival, There is only one way […]

The Cowl Editor