Dear Tiff and Earl, Why are all my professors assigning work before finals? How am I supposed to complete five papers in a week? On top of all this, my computer is completely dead. What should I do? Sincerely, Mo Papers Mo Problems Hey Mo Papers Mo Problems! So, little known fact about myself…I […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I do not want to go home for Thanksgiving because I know my pesky relatives will ask what I am doing with my post-grad life this spring. Truth is I have no idea and I will probably not make it to graduation because I failed so many exams in the past […]
Reenact Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Hunt squirrels on electric scooters Go on a ghost hunting expedition in the tunnels under Howley Jump in piles of leaves Feast on Ray cold cuts Listen to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” on repeat Buy mace, in preparation for Black Friday Ball out in Peterson Play […]
In Texas, astronauts can vote from space. In Alabama, you cannot wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. In Rhode Island, you cannot drag race horses on the highway. In some towns in Virginia, you cannot go trick or treating if you are over 12-years-old. In Arizona, it is illegal for a donkey […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, My boyfriend will only answer someone when they refer to him as Darth Kicka**. He is failing school right now and our relationship is on the rocks. What should I do? You’re my only hope, Leia Dear Leia, Wowza, that is quite a predicament you’re in with this guy. I […]
Getting my first library card When my grandmother got run over by a reindeer When I shot my brother (with a BB gun) The time I tripped up the stairs in front of my crush When I dropped my box of pizza at 2 am Getting bullied by TSA That time Stacy was a complete […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, Halloween is over now, and I can’t be Scrappy Doo anymore. I am currently having an identity crisis. How do I be myself again? Woefully, Scrappy Don’t Hi Scrappy Don’t, First of all, thank you so much for asking us such a sensitive question. Second of all, you are going […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, What do people do here on Halloween? Is trick-or-treating still a thing and if so where? Because caffeine isn’t getting me through midterms and I need some candy asap. Sincerely, Sugar Fiend Dear Sugar Fiend, First off, let’s get this straightened out. I hate to break it to ya, but […]
Kris Dunn & Coach Cooley Huxley & Friar Dom Dot & Fran Dean Sears & His Running Stick PC Squirrel & Trash Can Martha Stewart & Snoop Dogg Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande (Too Soon?) Chicken Nugget & Curly Fry Aquinas & Marx Trump & Kim Jong-un Tom Brady & a Goat Starbucks & Dunkin’ […]
TickTok TickTok Tick I feel it running after me Its breath on my neck. —Jessica Polanco ’20 I can’t feel myself. No one hears me talk to them Is this death for me? —Connor Zimmerman ’20 I hear a shuffle And a chill goes down my back All I see are eyes —Sam […]