May 21, 2019

Posts from "Features"

  • Features | Nov.30, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, Why are all my professors assigning work before finals? How am I supposed to complete five papers in a week? On top of all this, my computer is completely dead. What should I do? Sincerely, Mo…

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  • Features | Nov.19, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I do not want to go home for Thanksgiving because I know my pesky relatives will ask what I am doing with my post-grad life this spring. Truth is I have no idea and I will…

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  • Features | Nov.19, 2018

    Listomania: What Do Friar Dom and Huxley Do Over Thanksgiving Break

    Reenact Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Hunt squirrels on electric scooters Go on a ghost hunting expedition in the tunnels under Howley Jump in piles of leaves Feast on Ray cold cuts Listen to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is…

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  • Features | Nov.19, 2018

    Listomania: Absolutely Real State Laws

    In Texas, astronauts can vote from space. In Alabama, you cannot wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. In Rhode Island, you cannot drag race horses on the highway. In some towns in Virginia, you cannot go trick…

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  • Features | Nov.19, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, My boyfriend will only answer someone when they refer to him as Darth Kicka**. He is failing school right now and our relationship is on the rocks. What should I do? You’re my only hope, Leia…

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  • Features | Nov.01, 2018

    Listomania: I Wish I Wrote My College Essay About…

    Getting my first library card When my grandmother got run over by a reindeer When I shot my brother (with a BB gun) The time I tripped up the stairs in front of my crush When I dropped my box…

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  • Features | Nov.01, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, Halloween is over now, and I can’t be Scrappy Doo anymore. I am currently having an identity crisis. How do I be myself again? Woefully, Scrappy Don’t   Hi Scrappy Don’t, First of all, thank you…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, What do people do here on Halloween? Is trick-or-treating still a thing and if so where? Because caffeine isn’t getting me through midterms and I need some candy asap. Sincerely, Sugar Fiend   Dear Sugar Fiend,…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Listomania: Couples’ Costumes

    Kris Dunn & Coach Cooley Huxley & Friar Dom Dot & Fran Dean Sears & His Running Stick PC Squirrel & Trash Can Martha Stewart & Snoop Dogg Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande (Too Soon?) Chicken Nugget & Curly Fry…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Halloween Haikus

    TickTok TickTok Tick I feel it running after me Its breath on my neck. —Jessica Polanco ’20   I can’t feel myself. No one hears me talk to them Is this death for me? —Connor Zimmerman ’20   I hear…

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