Professor Red Flags I Wish I Noticed Earlier in the Semester: No syllabus week Small word counts for essays (only for English/Creative Writing majors) Long word counts for essays (for every other major) Asks for papers single-spaced Wants printed and digital copies No laptops allowed in class (they’re cutting into my online shopping time…) Printing […]
Things to do over the long weekend: Attempt to salvage my grades Take the plastic wrap off of those textbooks Catch up on shows I’ve missed Binge watch Too Hot to Handle Make arts and crafts Catch up on all of The Cowls from this semester Actually buy groceries to cook real food Finally pick […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I slipped and fell on the ice in front of an entire civ class coming out of Ruane this morning. No one even helped me up (what happened to “Friars Hold Doors”?). How do I recover from this embarrassment? Sincerely, Professional Ice Skater Dear Professional Ice Skater, The best way out […]
Even if you don’t have a Valentine today, You’ll have half-priced candy tomorrow. Sarah McLaughlin ’23 Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest. Kate Ward ’23 Forever thanks to my very best friend for all of our memories! Without you, I wouldn’t know the very best of me. Marelle Hipolito […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, My boyfriend won’t take me on a Valentine’s Day date because it’s too close to Super Bowl Sunday. Should I ditch him for Joe Burrow? Sincerely, Big Bengals Fan Dear Big Bengals Fan, Don’t give up on your man just yet! With a little creativity, you can have your cake and […]
Kathryn Libertini ’23 Download Tinder and Hinge for inspiration. Scroll through the apps with your roommates, creating narratives and citing opinions that will most likely never materialize (but, hey, there’s a chance). Delete Tinder and Hinge. Tell your roommates Valentine’s Day is a “Hallmark Holiday” incentivized by capitalism. Watch How to Lose a Guy in […]
Biggest Red Flags Asked me out to the PC basketball game Is a business major Has a pet monkey Doesn’t read The Cowl Is in their red hair phase (no offense, Sarah) Goes to URI Is Nate Jacobs (from Euphoria) Posts regularly on Yik Yak Gets hazelnut or pecan flavored coffee Has a favorite song […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, What happened to Syllabus Week? It’s one day into the semester and I’m already feeling the burnout. Help. Sincerely, Going Downhill Fast Dear Downhill, Now, now, always remember that you MUST put yourself first. If you feel that you need to, take a self-care week. Don’t worry about your professors, your […]
Best Icebreakers to Start off the Semester Anything other than name/major/hometown. What’s your least favorite icebreaker? What’s your favorite book? What song describes your life right now? If you were a potato, how would you like to be cooked? If you could audition for one TV show, which one would it be? If you could […]
What is your guilty pleasure gift that you would never ask for but wish someone would read your mind and buy for you? Liam Tormey: Off-White VaporMax Shoes Sarah McLaughlin: Tickets to see Hamilton at PPAC (for the third time…) Madison Palmieri: Ridiculously expensive Taylor Swift merch Julia McCoy: the $95 Harry Styles sweatshirt that […]