September 27, 2020

Posts from "Features"

  • Features | Nov.01, 2019

    Fast Fiction: What Scares You the Most?

    In 14 words or less “What Scares You the Most?” Go! An email comes from the Bursar’s Office: tuition due by the first. by Daniel Carrero ’23 The shower upstairs turns on, but I thought I was home alone… by…

    Read More
  • Features | Nov.01, 2019

    Friartire: The Hash-Slinging Friar

    by Ghost Hunter ’21 In the weeks preceding Halloween, several students have reported witnessing a ghost-like figure wandering late at night. The figure was described by a source as “dressed in the white habit of a friar,” but appeared to…

    Read More
  • Features | Nov.01, 2019

    Listomania: Pumpkin Carving Ideas

    Exam Cheat Sheet The Gettysburg Address Dante’s Inferno My TikTok username A portrait of Father Sicard My social security number A map to El Chapo’s treasure Another pumpkin A tasteful nude The torch The bike lane…RIP Coach Cooley Dot and…

    Read More
  • Features | Nov.01, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, The spider hanging over my bed is whispering sweet nothings into my ear. How do I proceed? Cautiously, Slightly Interested   Dear Slightly Interested,  It’s 2019, so no judgment here. The one thing I would say…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.24, 2019

    Listomania:Classes We Wish Were Offered

    eSports  Basket Weaving How to Tap a Keg Sodexo Cooking How to Get into Credit Card Debt Avocado Toast Colloquium History of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Metaphysics of Living in an Aquinas Double Ray Burnt Toast Prevention Ethics of Cult…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.24, 2019

    Friartire: President Pooh

    by Pooh Bear Fanatic ’21 Xi Jinping, president of the People’s Republic of China, made headlines last week when reports of his lawsuit against Walt Disney Productions resurfaced for their use of his likeness in their depiction of Winnie the…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.24, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m allergic to pumpkin spice. How do I assimilate into society? Blandly, Not-Spice Girl Dear Blandly,  That’s really tough, especially this time of year. But a pumpkin is just a gourd, so you can make a…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.10, 2019

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I have no idea what a cowl is. Can you please tell me? Confused, A Boogie Wit a Cowl   Dear Boogie Wit,  A cowl is the newspaper you are currently holding to read this. I…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.10, 2019

    Listomania: New Milkshake Flavors for McPhails

    The blood of my enemies Ice Only toppings Sour Patch Kids White Claw Apple cider Pumpkin spice Mystery 😉 Ray leftovers Jungle juice Mint Juul pods McPhail’s popcorn Chicken nugget (broccoli topping option) Four Loko Tide Pod Insomnia Cookie A…

    Read More
  • Features | Oct.10, 2019

    Friartire: The Beast is Stirring

    By Lil Wit ’21 It’s getting to that time of the year. The leaves are slowly falling, just like students’ spirits because midterms are on the horizon.    Studies show that students dread midterm week for several reasons. For one,…

    Read More