Dear Tiff and Earl, My family wants to play socially-distanced football at Thanksgiving. How do I learn it in ten minutes? Sincerely, I Was a Theatre Kid Dear Theatre Kid, Sports can be hard. Luckily, it seems like these socially distant modifications can play to your advantage. My advice: once the whistle blows simply […]
by Taylor Rogers ’24 Her ocean of tears is quickly overflooded, Anxiety, Depression, and Anger blending in with the fish. Big blue waves crash and fall, And as she is stranded on her tiny island, she makes one wish. A ship pillages her terrifying ocean, Taking anchor in the center of her heart. A pirate […]
by Ellie Forster ’24 I’m going to write something Today. A story, of just the right length, With just the right balance of righteousness, And questionable morals. A song with the duality of a woman, Sung to the heartbeat in her chest A novel that eats at you like a hunger, Stripping you bare as […]
by Matthew Ciesla ’24 At times, progressing as if by force, No enjoyment found therein, And then as if a steady course Pushes one to further strive. So monotonous these tones seem, Repeated once and then once more, Yet those well versed continually deem Their value beyond measure. O may you, repetition’s dearest friend, Grant […]
by Marelle Hipolito ’22 i’m no Jesus, i’m no Son of Man i’m no Heaven, i’m no Sacrificial Lamb i wish i could take away all of your pains i could wipe away all your mistakes but no i’m no Jesus i can’t save your soul you tell me you are afraid of Hell but […]
by Sarah Heavren ’21 Here’s to the team That jokes and laughs That will go long For the deep pass. Here’s to the team Unique in type “Fat Bottomed Girls” And Braveheart hype. Here’s to the team That takes the field Hammers only With extra zeal. Here’s to the team That will not quit No […]
Die Start a COVID-19 outbreak Go to an Eaton Street party Sleepover at Guz Dress up as Friar Dom instead of Huxley Overdose on candy corn Hookup with my ex twice (they were in different costumes) The Monster Mash Dress up like a doctor Get a pumpkin stuck on my head Go to a school-hosted […]
Dear Tiff & Earl, My neighbors across the hall are violating their pod by summoning spirits. The demons aren’t social distancing or wearing masks. How do I report them? Sincerely, In Need of an Exorcist and a Vaccine Dear Vac-orcist, While interacting with people outside of your pod is not the best idea and […]
by Sarah McLaughlin ’23 We could usually all fit underneath the slide. It was stuffy and we were squished against each other like sardines, but we had enough room to do what we had to do. There were only five of us, after all. Only five of us were brave enough. We called the rest […]
by Sam Ward ’21 What made you, killer? Like some deranged son of Cain, Primordial vision on predatory Impulses pulled from your Triune brain off kilter, Are you reptilian or a person? Who awoke you, monster? Your limbic still intact Except for the pleasure Derived from bloodlust and Philic for dormant urges, That should remain […]