by Daniel Carrero ’23 Ike was upset nobody shoveled the snow from the driveway. He had to park on the street. Walking inside the house he could hear Wonder barking from the backyard. He dropped his suitcase at the door, “Dad’s home!” No response. Ike thought the house was unusually silent this evening. Typically after […]
by Sam Pellman ’20 Today was a success! I found everything I needed and was finally heading to the car. I had been at the mall for two hours now just by myself, popping into different stores, leaving with lots of bags. There is no better feeling than going to the mall for a purpose […]
by Ghost Hunter ’21 In the weeks preceding Halloween, several students have reported witnessing a ghost-like figure wandering late at night. The figure was described by a source as “dressed in the white habit of a friar,” but appeared to be translucent. Another source stated, “The friar rose from the fog, like he came out […]
Exam Cheat Sheet The Gettysburg Address Dante’s Inferno My TikTok username A portrait of Father Sicard My social security number A map to El Chapo’s treasure Another pumpkin A tasteful nude The torch The bike lane…RIP Coach Cooley Dot and Fran Paul Rudd All the productive things I’ve done (nothing—including carving a pumpkin) My dignity […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, The spider hanging over my bed is whispering sweet nothings into my ear. How do I proceed? Cautiously, Slightly Interested Dear Slightly Interested, It’s 2019, so no judgment here. The one thing I would say is make sure she doesn’t have kids because that could be a pain. She’d be […]
by Daniel Carrero ’23 I wonder if I walked like you when I was your age. There was an innocent bounce to your step. You probably thought me and Coz pulled up on you by surprise. You probably thought you walked onto the wrong block on the wrong day and ran into the wrong people. […]
by Sarah McLaughlin ’23 Tourists converge from Earth’s every corner to see The piece of the past stored on this pebbled beach All paths extending westward from the east Meet here, the first of our nation’s vertices It’s so special to so many, apparently To view—The Rock—which began our history They’ve never switched it out, […]
by Sean Tobin ’20 One of mine, but given: Today when I arise And see slow-rolling skies Illuminate what lies This bleak side of heaven, Just one thought do I save— How bless’d this northern shore; The same which fathers fore, Sea-sick, God-starved, back-sore, Saw and knew they must have; We know the sounds she […]
eSports Basket Weaving How to Tap a Keg Sodexo Cooking How to Get into Credit Card Debt Avocado Toast Colloquium History of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Metaphysics of Living in an Aquinas Double Ray Burnt Toast Prevention Ethics of Cult Leadership Honors Procrastination Difference Between PC Cash and Friarbucks Spongebob and the Seven Deadly Sins […]
by Pooh Bear Fanatic ’21 Xi Jinping, president of the People’s Republic of China, made headlines last week when reports of his lawsuit against Walt Disney Productions resurfaced for their use of his likeness in their depiction of Winnie the Pooh. The suit, filed in 2014, claimed that President Jinping’s, 66, likeness had been used […]