Tiff and Earl

by The Cowl Editor


Features


Dear Tiff and Earl,

What do people do here on Halloween? Is trick-or-treating still a thing and if so where? Because caffeine isn’t getting me through midterms and I need some candy asap.

Sincerely,
Sugar Fiend

 

Dear Sugar Fiend,

First off, let’s get this straightened out. I hate to break it to ya, but trick-or-treating is so 2000 and late. If you’re looking for the perfect candy-eating experience, just picture this. You’re sitting on your couch with your closest friends, 10 jumbo-sized bags of your favorite candies cover your body like a blanket as you simultaneously stuff your face and watch the all-too-familiar Halloweentown saga unfold. Suddenly, your cell phone rings. You’re feeling on the top of the world, sugar high and all, so you answer: I’m sorry, the old sugar fiend can’t come to the phone right now. Oh, why? Cause she’s dead!

XO,
Tiff

 

Dear Sugar Baby,

The only thing you’ll get from knocking on the doors along Eaton Street is a weird look and maybe a few empty plastic cups.

I’m not sure if your request for candy is some kind of newfangled euphemism for fooling around, but I can tell you that you certainly won’t be the only one at PC with such intentions on All Hallow’s Eve.

Sweetly,
Earl