Talk of the Town: College Agrees to Have Conversations About Having Conversations about Future Conversations

by The Cowl Editor on April 6, 2023

The Scowl

PROVIDENCE, RI: On Monday, March 13, a representative of the College announced that next month, the College would be moving forward with discussing conversations about potential future discussions. These discussions would be debating whether or not students would be allowed to debate difficult topics in discussions in the future. 

“In debating whether or not this conversation would be allowed, the College is making groundbreaking progress,” said Fr. Judas Priest, O.P., the College’s personal spokes-friar.

Fr. Priest went on to acknowledge the fact that for years, the College has avoided debates about future difficult discussions. “We’ve never done this before,” he added. “It’s the first time in all 106 years of College history.” He also highlighted that the College had been strongly debating in favor of future debates for some time, adding: “This discussion is the College’s baby.” 

The move to begin this public discussion is overwhelmingly supported by the student body. “Beginning to talk about things is probably the bravest thing you can do,” said Mass Debater ’24. “I can’t imagine anything more revolutionary for the College to be doing right now.” 

Though talks of such a discussion occurring had been ongoing for months, Fr. Priest’s announcement confirmed these talks had moved past their embryonic stages, and that next month, the debate would move from the Board and faculty to the student body. 

“Honestly, it’s exhausting discussing these difficult topics all the time,” said Sensor Shipp, a member of the Board of Trustees. “Maybe, if we let the students discuss it once, the Board will never have to discuss it again.” 

And, as we all know, and as Fr. Priest plainly stated in his email announcement to the College that Monday, “There is no action as decisive as beginning future discussions. And besides, it would be terribly wrong to terminate these discussions in their early stages of development. What if they led to a cure for cancer?”