by Colleen Joyce ’22 My testimony discloses the truth— I rejected each of his proposals. In fact, I am certain the only words from my lips, directed towards Apollo, were dismissals—despite what has been told. Let me state that I did not want his eye. My desires were trivial to him. Eros may claim mockery […]
by Anna Pomeroy ’23 I understand why old people are so content with death. Our bones don’t grow brittle from their long-lasting bends–– But their existence becomes the unstable foundation for the external skin that takes the beating of life. It’s hard, life. I mean, we’re meant to make it–– Strong enough. But there comes […]
Dear Tiff & Earl, We know no one reads this section. What is the craziest advice you can give without getting caught? Sincerely, Your Only Fan Earl, are we going to stand for this insult? -Tiff Absolutely not. We’re boycotting. -Earl
by W.B. Yeats Today’s the very best day, the best day, Sweeter than sweet tea with lemonade. Even though the sky is gray, The sun will come and brighten the way! I will take a coffee to go, the usual, Some caffeine to fill my skull, Of course they’ll remember me, I always bring exact […]
by Ryan’s Room Best Gal ’23 I drive back and forth from school to home, the commuter life is not one I would’ve chosen. But a room, a magical room, brings me back, opens its arms wide open. Sometimes I have to be the bearer of bad news, and […]
Turn your grade upside down Convert it to the metric system Give your professor a little gift *wink wink* Cram on your Wellness Wednesday Give an expository interview to Oprah about your teacher Round it up to an A Send your professor a death threat Have Daddy pay your professor off Perform a ritual to […]
by Dot’s #1 Fan ’21 The day is September 26, 2020. Weather outside feels like day drinking. The student population has engaged in a darty dedicated to Vineyard Vines and White Claws on Weaton Street. Everything appears normal, until one student hears another cough. The events to follow were recorded by one of the few […]
by Lil Wit ’21 Psalm 91 told Him the world ain’t gonna know Him They put a crown of thorns on His head. He was preaching kingdom come kind of hinting He’s the One Who was sent by the One and True Godhead. Well the Lord is loving and He don’t stop loving Born as […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m trying to get a leprechaun to join my pod. How should I entice them? Do I sprinkle Lucky Charms for them to follow? Sincerely, In Need of a Little Luck Dear In Need, Although Lucky Charms are magically delicious, actual leprechauns have higher standards (don’t ask how I know—I just […]
by Ellie Forster ’24 Lucy had a talking problem. She was small, but not small enough to not be a bother. So, she did just that. She bothered everyone she met. She pulled on shirts, she asked too many questions, she demanded attention. Lucy was seen and heard. She just wasn’t listened to. And that […]