Category: Portfolio

Friartire: Beware the Fruit Cakes! (And other Holiday Treats)

by Lil Elf ’21 It’s that time of year again.  There is an unquantifiable amount of glorious aromas emitting from the oven (or maybe it’s just a candle).  With the Christmas season inevitably comes the Christmas goodies.  However, some people are victims to the less-than-tasty treats.  Although the good most certainly outweigh the bad, the […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Festivus Airing of the Grievances

Not having chicken in the alumni salads Alumni closed on Sundays (we will not be silenced) The elevator being down in DiTrag for 3 weeks Late Thanksgiving When the app says that a washer is available but it’s not Seeing ads for all 20 democratic presidential candidates Peter as the new Bachelor (Mike deserved better) […]

The Cowl Editor

Listomania: Festivus Airing of the Grievances

Not having chicken in the alumni salads Alumni closed on Sundays (we will not be silenced) The elevator being down in DiTrag for 3 weeks Late Thanksgiving When the app says that a washer is available but it’s not Seeing ads for all 20 democratic presidential candidates Peter as the new Bachelor (Mike deserved better) […]

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Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl,  I was hired to write a new Hallmark movie and am out of ideas. What clichés should I use? Merrily, Clueless at Christmas   Dear Clueless,  Forget the clichés. Doesn’t anyone ever wonder what happened to that guy that the girl was supposed to marry but then realizes he isn’t right […]

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Listomania: Conversation Topics to Avoid During Thanksgiving Dinner

My 90-day fiancé The day I spent at a nudist colony My bank account or lack of one My tattoo of Dot  Which state my fake ID is from How my roommate’s drug dealer lives with us  The demon that visits me every night My plans after graduation My opinions on impeachment  The current raging […]

Sarah D Kirchner

Tiff and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, Last year I got crushed in a stampede on Black Friday, and I was in a coma until Christmas. How do I arm myself this year? Best, Blacked Out Friday   Dear BOF,  There’s this thing called Amazon. It’s prime.  Inexpensively, Tiff   Dear Ruby Bruiseday,  This is no time for […]

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Going Cold Turkey

by Lil Wit ’21   It’s that time of year again.  The leaves are falling, there’s pumpkin spice everywhere, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  For many students, that means a nice, relaxing weekend home is on the horizon.  Others are in for a harder conversation than the one with that creepy uncle you […]

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Life at its Best

by Connor Christuk ’21 – Creative Writing Contest Honorable Mention How important is a moment? It all depends on if it’s your last A moment among many is not much, For a moment can only be so fast. But if that moment were happy, Would it mean so much more? Do we exist to be […]

The Cowl Editor

Life at its Best

by Connor Christuk ’21 – Creative Writing Contest Honorable Mention How important is a moment? It all depends on if it’s your last A moment among many is not much, For a moment can only be so fast. But if that moment were happy, Would it mean so much more? Do we exist to be […]

Sarah D Kirchner

Bad Jokes and Celtics Talk

by Kevin Clifford ’20 – Creative Writing Contest Winner “Hayward to Irving, that’s for three. Brown’s effort kept it alive temporarily, but Middleton gathers the miss.” Jack had dozed off during the game, so he decided to watch some of the highlights. “Must have been a rough game if that brick was shown in the […]

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