A Special Announcement from Your Dean of Students

by jmccoy3


The Scowl


Beloved Friars,

​It is Wednesday, and we are approaching an astronomical feat. Two weeks ago, as I ran at the speed of light around campus, the Lord appeared to me and commissioned my soul to order the digging of two massive trenches on campus. The edge of China is finally almost visible, and only three or four students have perished in its depths on the way back from Eaton Street.

The energy is nothing but surreal.

Who accomplished this? PC? That small Catholic college in the back corner of the nation? You better believe it. It is only the Friar spirit that could allow for such precise craftsmanship. These holes on campus represent the holes within the world’s spirit, as we dig into them in order to heal them with the spirit of the Providence College Friars. There are no words to describe my emotion.

Who else to credit this work to than the construction workers themselves? They have put tireless hours, effort, and spirit into their work. They embody what it means to be a Friar. It is only fitting that they be the ones to embark upon this journey of a lifetime. It leaves me speechless.

In recognition of this tremendous occasion, I have personally purchased Golden Crust Pizza Parlor and will be installing a pizzeria in the middle of Slavin lawn. The current location now belongs to the 02908 club. Please reach out to Shannon Kay Russell if you still need housing for senior year. The one room will go quickly!

One Heart. One Heartbeat. One Community. One Pizzeria. Two Trenches.

Your Friar’d Up Dean of Students, who changed his run route to avoid falling into a hole,

Dean Macys


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