Normalize Walking on the Grass
by Serial Lawn Stepper
It’s 9:23 a.m. You just got let out (late) of your Monday morning theology class in Harkins, and you have to book it to Accinno for your next lecture in less than 10 minutes. There are dozens of people blocking your path—fellow students, friars, and the worst of all, Friars Club tours full of prospective students and parents who just can not manage to walk faster than a tortoise (not to mention those backwards-walking tour guides who will probably trip you if you get too close). When the path is this crowded, what is your best option? Walking across the grass.
Cue the gasps. No one knows how it started, but it seems like for as long as any of us can remember, Providence College students have been afraid of walking on the grass. These days, it is even more taboo than stepping on the circle in front of the chapel (is the class of 2025 even aware of this tradition?). But no one is able to provide a clear answer as to why this is the case.
While standing on the grass between Slavin and the library, I interviewed a few passing students, asking them for their thoughts on this serious matter. While a few just gave me scared glances and scurried away like the squirrels, one student provided his reasoning for sticking to the bricks.
“It’s like this never-ending, campus-wide game of ‘the floor is lava,’” he explained. “Everyone’s just in on it starting Orientation Week, I guess. And why walk on the grass when we have these wonderful sidewalks PC so generously built for us?”
Sure, we have sidewalks, but sometimes those sidewalks just do not cut through the lawn at the most efficient angle to allow travel from point A to point B at the maximum possible velocity. And with the amount of money we spend on landscaping, you can be damn sure I’m going to utilize that pristinely-trimmed grass to its fullest potential.