Move the pizza again (it’s messing with my feng shui) Bring back the panini station Give me iced tea or give me death Paint it in a neoclassical style Carpet all of Ray (and I mean all of it) Have every menu curated by Paul Rudd Get Ray onto [insert Food Network show here] Make […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I was late to my class one morning, and when I arrived there were no seats in the room. I had to sit in the corner next to the professor by myself like a fool. What are some ways that I can get to class faster? Sadly, Flat-footed Fred Dear […]
Mint Juul pods are illegal I cannot responsibly manage my money (or Friar Bucks) They lied to me on the tour about Ray Men’s basketball will never be able to hit their free throws I paid $5k for a class that I skipped 23 times I can get mono really easily (my mama always said […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I had so much down time over winter break that I started pondering the meaning of the universe and now I’m having a quarter-life crisis. I think I want to drop out of school and move to an igloo in Alaska. Thoughts? Sincerely, Wannabe Hermit Dear Hermie, Unless you can […]
by Lil Elf ’21 It’s that time of year again. There is an unquantifiable amount of glorious aromas emitting from the oven (or maybe it’s just a candle). With the Christmas season inevitably comes the Christmas goodies. However, some people are victims to the less-than-tasty treats. Although the good most certainly outweigh the bad, the […]
Not having chicken in the alumni salads Alumni closed on Sundays (we will not be silenced) The elevator being down in DiTrag for 3 weeks Late Thanksgiving When the app says that a washer is available but it’s not Seeing ads for all 20 democratic presidential candidates Peter as the new Bachelor (Mike deserved better) […]
Not having chicken in the alumni salads Alumni closed on Sundays (we will not be silenced) The elevator being down in DiTrag for 3 weeks Late Thanksgiving When the app says that a washer is available but it’s not Seeing ads for all 20 democratic presidential candidates Peter as the new Bachelor (Mike deserved better) […]
Dear Tiff and Earl, I was hired to write a new Hallmark movie and am out of ideas. What clichés should I use? Merrily, Clueless at Christmas Dear Clueless, Forget the clichés. Doesn’t anyone ever wonder what happened to that guy that the girl was supposed to marry but then realizes he isn’t right […]
by Connor Christuk ’21 – Creative Writing Contest Honorable Mention How important is a moment? It all depends on if it’s your last A moment among many is not much, For a moment can only be so fast. But if that moment were happy, Would it mean so much more? Do we exist to be […]
by Connor Christuk ’21 – Creative Writing Contest Honorable Mention How important is a moment? It all depends on if it’s your last A moment among many is not much, For a moment can only be so fast. But if that moment were happy, Would it mean so much more? Do we exist to be […]