June 20, 2019

Posts from "Features"

  • Features | Oct.19, 2017

    Gillian Flynn and Stephen King Walk Into the Home Invasion

    by Julia Zygiel ’19 and Kiley McMahon ’20   Blood coats the floors, a trail of it leading out the door to the driveway. Stephen King: “So… this is why you called me here?” Gillian Flynn: “Stephen, there is no…

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  • Features | Oct.05, 2017

    Tiffany and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, Why is Ruane Café NOT open on weekends?  I find this a terrible and grave injustice.  How can I live without my nightly Allie’s Donut and caramel macchiato? Sincerely, Weekdays Are For Losers​   Dear Weekends…

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  • Features | Oct.05, 2017

    Listomania: Things Our Professors Say

    “We have to talk about the hot poker up the butt.” “Legit. Wait, do kids still say that?” “It did NOT involve penetration!” “Stop being high and contribute to the conversation.” “Yes, these people are naked.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t…

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  • Features | Sep.28, 2017

    Tiffany and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, How do I treat the feral cats that live under my porch?  They have conjunctivitis. Sincerely, Paige “Peach” Calabrese   Dear Paige, Adopt one as a pet! Duh! I am not entirely sure what conjunctivitis is,…

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  • Features | Sep.28, 2017

    Listomania: Weirdest Texts Sent to Librarians

    “Can you tell that loud table to shut up?” “Wanna hang out later? 😉 ” “Can you read this book to me?” “Is it chicken nugget day yet?” “We need to talk.” “Are we still on for breakfast?” “Can you comment…

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  • Features | Sep.21, 2017

    Tiffany and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, Should I take the GREs? If so, how do I prepare for them? Sincerely, Forever an Undergrad   Dear Forever an Undergrad, I’ve been so swamped with homework and life and friends and the missing Cowls…

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  • Features | Sep.21, 2017

    Listomania: Places the Stolen Cowls Could’ve Gone

    Burned in the Torch The Koi Pond The “No Storage Alloweed” Closet in Ryan Random Dorm Room in Guzman The Matrix The Room of Requirement The Tunnels under Howley The White House Shelby, Ohio Canada (It Got Deported) Middle Earth…

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  • Features | Sep.14, 2017

    Tiffany and Earl

      Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m planning a date with my girlfriend this weekend, but neither of us know Providence very well. You two have been here for a while—any ideas on where we could have a fun night out?…

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  • Features | Sep.14, 2017

    Listomania: Things PC Could’ve Done Instead of a Torch

    Built a New Dorm Renovated Aquinas Paid Adjuncts Exterminated Mice Spent More on Lawn Care Built a Petting Zoo Spent More Money on Student Health Updated The Cowl Office Brought in Edible Food Fixed Utilities in General Created More Student…

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  • Features | Aug.31, 2017

    Tiffany and Earl

      Dear Tiff and Earl, I ordered my books from the bookstore yesterday, but they’re on backorder.  I need them for the first week and have no friends.  What do I do?!?! Sincerely, Not-A-Bookworm   Dear Not-A-Bookworm, First off, I…

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