December 15, 2018

Posts from "Features"

  • Features | Nov.01, 2018

    Listomania: I Wish I Wrote My College Essay About…

    Getting my first library card When my grandmother got run over by a reindeer When I shot my brother (with a BB gun) The time I tripped up the stairs in front of my crush When I dropped my box…

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  • Features | Nov.01, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, Halloween is over now, and I can’t be Scrappy Doo anymore. I am currently having an identity crisis. How do I be myself again? Woefully, Scrappy Don’t   Hi Scrappy Don’t, First of all, thank you…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Tiff and Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, What do people do here on Halloween? Is trick-or-treating still a thing and if so where? Because caffeine isn’t getting me through midterms and I need some candy asap. Sincerely, Sugar Fiend   Dear Sugar Fiend,…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Listomania: Couples’ Costumes

    Kris Dunn & Coach Cooley Huxley & Friar Dom Dot & Fran Dean Sears & His Running Stick PC Squirrel & Trash Can Martha Stewart & Snoop Dogg Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande (Too Soon?) Chicken Nugget & Curly Fry…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Halloween Haikus

    TickTok TickTok Tick I feel it running after me Its breath on my neck. —Jessica Polanco ’20   I can’t feel myself. No one hears me talk to them Is this death for me? —Connor Zimmerman ’20   I hear…

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  • Features | Oct.25, 2018

    Ghost Stories

    The Carson Killer He didn’t want to get caught. The day he was suspected the shadows scratched across the hardwood floors of 29 Carson Avenue, as though the sun were trying to drag them to the basement. Day or night…

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  • Features | Oct.18, 2018

    Listomania: Best Ways to Study for Midterms

    Repeatedly slam your notebook against your head Cry on the library couch for 30 minutes and then fall asleep Eat your feelings out in Ray Look at “Help Wanted” ads for when you drop out Fill out a Change of…

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  • Features | Oct.18, 2018

    Tiffany & Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I always feel like I never know what’s happening on campus, and I refuse to read the Morning Mail. How do I find out what the word is? Sincerely, Lonely Larry   Dearest Larry, Obviously, you…

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  • Features | Oct.04, 2018

    Listomania*: Ways to Celebrate Columbus Day

    Update your Waze app so you don’t get lost on the way to China Hang out with some girls names Nina, Pinta, and Maria Dress like it’s 1492 Update Columbus’ Wikipedia page Pay reparations to the Native American people Petition…

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  • Features | Oct.04, 2018

    Tiff & Earl

    Dear Tiff and Earl, I’m turning 21 over Columbus Day weekend, but all my friends are going home. I’m going to be all alone in my apartment. What should I do? Sadly, Feeling Twenty-Blue   Hey Loser, Let’s face it,…

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