Category: Features

Listomania: Best Ways to Increase Your Holiday Weight Gain

Consume all the Soft Serve in Ray Binge-Watch Netflix* Go Black Friday Shopping on a Scooter Visit a Chocolate Buffet Marry a Haven Brother Boycott the Gym Listen to Justin Bieber…or Chris Brown Procrastinate, With Subsequent All-Nighters Kälteen Bars Door-to-Door Christmas Parties Leftover Halloween Candy Double-Fried Turkey Try all Starbucks Holiday Drinks, in Venti *while […]

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Tiffany and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, Why do people decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving? Sincerely, Ho Ho No   Dear Scrooge, Why don’t MORE people decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving??? Christmas is the best and most magical time of the year, and honestly I would decorate for Christmas all year long if people wouldn’t think it was […]

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Listomania: Things We’re Thankful For This Year

Roommates Traffic on I-95 Doors Getting Slammed in Our Faces RIPTA Schedules The End of Prohibition Low-Profit Bookstore Buybacks Morning Mail Not Having Screens on Dorm Windows Friar Dom’s Terrifying Mouth PC Squirrels Joe Biden’s Book Tour Communal Bathrooms North Dakota Llamas

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Tiffany and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, How do I prepare for an impending thunderstorm? Sincerely, Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head   Dear Raindrops on My Head, Is this an emotional thunderstorm or a real thunderstorm? Because the two are vastly different, and both can be extremely stressful situations. If it’s a real thunderstorm…      Step […]

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Listomania: Weirdest Nicknames Ever

Clammy Doo Doo* Dingleberry Merm Jo-Jo Banks Bugs Beaner Bubby Rotten Egg White Pagina Carlos Danger Fungus Dixie Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez *for a sophomore in college

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Tiffany and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, Kylo Ren: hot or not? Sincerely, Definitely Not Finn   Dear Finn, Ya know, if Kylo Ren was a girl, I would call him a “butter face,” or “but her face.” His body is so hot. Like sooooo hot. His face is… eh. So I guess he’s a “but his face?” […]

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Listomania: Civ Colloquia We Wish Were Offered

Naptime Through the Ages Historical Accuracy of Game of Thrones The Science of Chicken McNuggets The Study of the Torch Raunchy Greek Art Development of Eastern Civilization The Rise of Dunkin’ Donuts History of Dentistry Pets in the Ancient World The Art of Sodexo Harry Potter and the Allegory of the Cave History of Azeroth […]

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Tiffany and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, What is and isn’t acceptable to wear as a Halloween costume here at PC? Sincerely, In Need Of Candy   Dear In Need of Candy, Your question is tricky, but the answer is a real treat. Fun thing about Halloween: the fewer clothes, the better. The more offensive, the more hilarious. […]

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Listomania: Worst “Candy” You Can Receive For Halloween

A Rock A Pocket Dictionary An Orange A Box of Raisins Airplane Peanuts Nothing, they wouldn’t open the door A Toothbrush Stale Starburst Cough Drops A Head of Cabbage Last Halloween’s Candy Knock-off Tootsie Rolls Fig Newtons Nature Valley Granola Bars Cheez-Its Pencils Black Licorice Fortune Cookies

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Tiffany and Earl

Dear Tiff and Earl, Is it proper for women to be learned? Sincerely, Sir Clement Pickleton VII   No. Stay as undereducated as possible. No education = no job = a great excuse for a guy to pay for all your drinks (even after you’re 21). Also, men are intimidated by smart women, so if […]

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